Tuesday, December 10, 2013

All that Shimmers

“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” 
― Lewis CarrollAlice in Wonderland Via
Tonight and tomorrow are going to be terrible. We lost an old friend this weekend. Someone we grew up with. Laughed with. Drank with. Made stupid decisions with. Smoked with. Worked with. Moved furniture with. Confided in. Talked about the future with. Made plans with. My husband's life, especially, will never be the same because he's lost that one person whom he still kept in touch with that he could be entirely himself around. I may be his wife, but nothing compares to an old friend who has known you almost as long as you've been alive. Those friends are irreplaceable.  You may not talk to them for five years, and then one day, you'll see them on the street, and you'll pick up an old thread of conversation as though you had never left it unfinished. They know what makes you laugh (really laugh, not that fake kind of laugh you've assumed nowadays, but one that comes from deep within your gut). They know what makes you tick. No one can ever fill the void those kinds of friends leave behind. The world finds you, instead, a little lonelier.

Listening to my 90's alternative station on Pandora this morning (The world is a vampire, sent to drain; I'm having trouble trying to sleep. I'm counting sheep but running out), all I could think was where has the time gone? What happened to the young, happy, carefree people who had all the world before us? A/J
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